I believe that I have such a vanilla life.–Jen Lancaster
In one of my last blogs “Scoop of Self” I said I would try my experiment on trying a different flavor of ice cream each week. The purpose is to see what flavor I choose says about me.
I started with Vanilla.
Well, to my surprise, it felt satisfyt enough-no topping needed or immediately wanting another flavor. I didn’t add chocolate syrup this time. No extra toppings. No attempt to improve it or turn it into something more exciting. Just vanilla.
It made me realize how often in my life I have felt not enough in so many different ways. I have often believed I needed to try harder, be smarter, accomplish more, or somehow become more capable to deserve acceptance, and love. But sitting there with that simple bowl of vanilla ice cream, for a few moments I was ok, good enough.
II let it melt slowly in my mouth, almost as if I were tasting it for the very first time. The first thing I notice is the cold sensation consuming my mouth. Then the flavor begins to spread quickly, as if it wants to reach every corner, every cell, demanding to be fully experienced. The smooth, slippery texture glides effortlessly, finding no resistance.
As I sit with it, I think about my own life—how I have always wanted to reach the top of every mountain, experience everything, leave nothing untouched. For so many years I was shaped by the expectations of others, trying to become what was needed or admired. Now, I feel as though I am finally finding my own smoother road ahead.
I do not want the flavor to disappear so quickly. Part of me wants to hold onto it, savor it, keep it from fading. Yet another part of me is already impatient, wanting the next bite before fully experiencing the first.
Instead of rushing through it, I stayed with the experience. Almost immediately, memories came flooding back—feelings of home, safety, and a deep peace somewhere in my soul. It also made me realize how impatient I can be in life itself, often moving too quickly to the next idea, the next project, the next mountain to climb. I have rarely been good at pacing myself or believing that what is already in front of me could truly be enough.
I thought about my large family gathered together, taking turns cranking the old ice cream maker. The anticipation felt almost unbearable as we waited for it to finally be ready. The laughter, the teasing, the smiles on everyone’s faces—it was as if we were all transported to a special place where life felt simpler and people felt connected. For those moments, we were united by something so ordinary, yet so meaningful. I flashed back to watching my daughter so many times eating an ice cream cone and the vanilla dripping down her beutiful little cherub cheeks. Despite her enthusiasm and efforts, she could never keep up with the dripping flood, trying to get every little melting drop. We often visited Baskin-Robbins. Often with the ice cream in front of them, my two grandsons always seem to be transported to happier place, no matter what had been bothering them; ice cream was their ultimate escape.
Vanilla tastes slightly salty to me, but the rich creamy sweetness balances it perfectly. Maybe that is why it feels so human. Life itself carries both salt and sweetness—loss and joy, loneliness and love, disappointment and comfort. Vanilla does not try too hard to impress you. It is steady, familiar, gentle, and balanced. Sometimes that is exactly what I long for in life.
The sweetness resting on my tongue reminds me of some of my most pleasurable memories—fun, romance, laughter, indulgence, feeling cared for, and feeling emotionally safe. Vanilla may seem plain to some people, but maybe there is wisdom in its simplicity. Maybe part of healing is learning that we do not always need to add more to ourselves to be worthy.
Sometimes, simply being who we are is enough.
EXERCISE
Try it, you’ll like it! This week pick a flavor, see what comes up.
Remember, don’t act your age!