“Don’t chase the shiny new thing; true value lies in what stands the test of time.”- author unknown
Why do we often gravitate toward the newest, most high-tech, and shiny models, caught up in the “shiny objects syndrome,”or the “innovation trap,”casting aside the older, tried-and-true ones that have grown a little worn but can be just as good – or even better?
Sometimes, I feel like my old 1991 Dodge truck – mocked for its rusty body and outdated look -while inside, it still has a reliable, well-oiled engine that will probably still be around and working when many of the newer models won’t. Sometimes, I think there is a conspiracy to make sure newer models don’t last- to ensure more selling and profits.
I think about my mother who passed away at age 92. She was not shiny and new. She had deep wrinkles that marked the depth of her existence, her challenges and victories, happy and joyful times, the sum total of who she was. If I could have only known then what that age represented and appreciated her more. I think about those times when my mother would sometimes slip away from family gatherings to quietly sit alone in another room. Was it because she thought she had nothing meaningful to say, or perhaps because she felt none of us really wanted to hear anything she had to say? I’ll never know because I never asked.
Then there’s my wife’s estranged multi-millionaire father, who seemed to splurge on things that didn’t make much sense—a million-dollar fixer-upper, two vintage Mustang convertibles even though he was the only driver, and a brand-new flashy boat to replace an older model that just needed a few repairs. Was it all just for show? A show for who? For those who care only about appearances and material wealth?
I think about my wife’s concern over how rescue dogs are often chosen based on their age or cuteness, while others – just as healthy and loving – get left behind, many likely awaiting a dire future. I think about the two compassionate seniors who take in abandoned older dogs, bringing home shelter dogs like the 14-year-old deaf “grandma” with a large cyst on her front leg, and that “graying old man,” unsteady on his hind feet with cataracts dimming his sight – in an effort to make them comfortable and joyful during their twilight years.
It’s taken a lifetime of learning and exploration to bring me to the realization that newer or different doesn’t mean better. Novelty or shinier doesn’t replace function, quality, sustainability or user experience. High-tech is often replaced by something newer within weeks. The world moves much too quickly these days and it’s easy to get swept up in the frenzied whirlwind.
I believe that changing involves giving up attachments to things connected with emotional memories, which, at times, seem to develop a life of their own. So, I’ve decided to slow down a bit – not because of my age – but to truly appreciate the people, animals and things that have aged gracefully. Sometimes, I think if we all paused, took a deep breath, and took a good long look at ourselves, we’d realize that there’s intrinsic value in people, animals, and objects that have endured.
If my mother was alive today, I would follow her into that quiet room, sit next to her on the couch, and ask how she’s feeling, how her life has changed since the loss of my father. I would appreciate my old Dodge truck even more, instead of sometimes wishing for something newer. I would love my older dogs just as much, if not more, than when they were pups.
My advice to myself and my readers is simple: value the old, the less flashy, and the more solidly built. Don’t get swept up in the lure of the latest trends. No matter what you think or what others say, older does not equate with disposable. That old truck? It’s a workhorse, running strong long after the newer models have broken down. That old pet? He/she gives me more love than I ever thought possible. As for that older adult? Slow down, sit down and make time to truly listen. You just may be surprised by the sound wisdom and unique take on life.
One day, perhaps sooner than you think, you will find yourself standing in exactly the same spot as I am now, and I hope that someone younger will take the time to listen to what you have to say because it’s important – because you’re important and because you have value. I remind myself of that daily.
Let’s keep the conversation going: djlmft@wrinkledworriedwise.com
EXERCISE
Take time to reflect on your attitude about “shiny and new.”
Remember, don’t act your age!